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Joke ID 24

Work: [1] 'The Book of Humour, ...'(1880, book)
> Transcription: [20] from page s: 25-27
>> Joke: 24

An American Love Story.

An old gentleman, a merchant, had an only daughter, possessed of the highest attractions,moral,personal, and pecuniary. She wasengaged, and devotedly attached, to a young man of her own rank of life, and, in every respect, worthy of her choice. Allpreliminaries were arranged; and the marriage, after two or three postponements, was fixed to take place on a certain Thurs day. On the preceding Monday, thebridegroom elect (who was to have received 50,000 dollars down on his wedding-day,and a further sum of 100,000 dollars on his father-in-law's dying, as there was prospect he soon would) had some little jealous squabbling with his intended at an evening party. The "tiff" arose in consequence of his paying more attention than she thought justifiable, to a lady with sparkling eyes and inimitable ringlets. The gentleman retorted, and spoke slightingly of a certain cousin, whose waistcoat was the admiration of the assembly, and v/hich, it was hinted darkly, had been embroideredby the fair hand of the heiress in question. He added, in conclusion,that it would be time enough for him to be schooled when they were married ; and that she adopted a certain portion of the male attire " a little too soon." After supper,both lovers had become more cool; iced champagne and coldchicken had done their work;andleave was taken by the bridegroom elect,in kindly and affectionate, if not in such enthusiastic terms, as had previously terminatedtheir meetings. On the next morning, the swain thought, with some remorse, on the angry feeling he had exhibited, and on the cutting sarcasm with whichhe had given it vent ; and,as a part of the amende honorable, packed up with great care a magnificent satin dress, whichhe had previously bespoken for his beloved, and whichhad been sent home to him in the interval,and transmitted it to the lady, with a note to the following effect :— "Dearest Jane,Ihave been unable to close my eyes all night, in consequence of thinking of our misunderstanding last evening. Pray, pardon me; and, intoken of your forgiveness, deign to accept the accompanying dress, and wear it for the sake of your affectionate Henry." Having written the note, he gave it to his servant to deliver with the parcel; but,as a pair of his garments happened, at the time, to stand in needof repairing, he availedhimself of the opportunity offered by his servant having to pass the tailor'sshop, and desired him to leave them, packed in another parcel, on his road. The reader foresees the inevitable catastrophe. Yes! the man made the fatal blunder!consigned the satin robe to Mr. Snip, and left the note, together with thedilapidated habiliment,at the residence ofthe lady. So exasperated was she at what she considereda determined and deliberate affront, that when her admirer called, she ordered the door to be closed in his face, refused to listen to any explanation, and resolutely broke off the match. Before many weekshad elapsed,means were found to make her acquainted with the history of the objectionablepresent; but she, nevertheless, adhered firmly to her resolve, deeplylamentingthe misadventure, but determinedto let the burden of the ridicule rest upon the unlucky lover.

Unknown

From:

  • Book title: The Book of Humour, Wit & Wisdom. A manual of table-talk. [By L. C. Gent?]]
  • Date: 1880
  • Joke taken from: Page 25
  • Book Editor: GENT, L. C.
  • City: London, Edinburgh
  • Country: England, Scotland
  • Added by: ben
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