Transcription [526]

Part of Work 11 Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (23/08/1891) }

Jokes found in this transcription:

    Joke 934 - "CONFIDENCES OF A MATURE SIREN. I admit I'm not as handsome as I used to be; but I'm twice as dangerous. "
    Joke 935 - "[Untitled] " RULE Britannia, " indeed ! Who's going to do it ? Eh ? Let 'em try it on, that's all ! "
    Joke 936 - " A TIP TO BUILDERS, CARPENTERS, AND OTHERS. On what to " plank " your money down ? - Why, on Good-wood, of course ! "
    Joke 937 - "PROTECTION. - BELLA: "I must insist, Fred, that our engagement be kept quite secret." - FRED: "Why, my love, if ... "
    Joke 938 - "[Untitled] THE report that King Milan had committed suicide on account of his losses at play was promptly contr ... "
    Joke 939 - " LORD TENNYSON has just celebrated his eighty-second birthday, and is almost as po-eighty-cal as ever ... "
    Joke 940 - " A DEFENDANT, who was lately fined for travelling by rail without a ticket, described himself as a li ... "
    Joke 941 - "[Untitled] A LATE itinerant grinder of shears in Chicago is reported to have left behind him $21,000 - evidentl ... "
    Joke 942 - " THE RISING GENERATION - UP TO DATE ; ON " FIN DE SIECLE. " Aunty : And what makes you discontented with the place, Ethel ? - Ethel ( aged 10 ) : Why, there's n ... "
    Joke 943 - " A PIOUS FRAUD. Hullo, Monty, what have you got in your button-hole ? You don't mean to say you've joined the Blue R ... "
    Joke 944 - " HAD HIM THERE ! My dear Sally ! I know a great deal more of human nature that you give me credit for. - I'm glad of ... "
    Joke 945 - " SEVERS MEASURES. A gentleman, whose attention has a habit of persistently wandering, recently had it arrested. "
    Joke 946 - " THINGS NOT GENERALLY KNOWN. Poor relations. "
    Joke 947 - " MORE IN SORROW THAN IN ANGER. Awfully sorry, old fellah, to heah of your wife's death. - Yes ; most unfortunate at this time of y ... "
    Joke 948 - " LAUNDRY ANOMALY. Washing machines that " Won't wash. " "
    Joke 949 - " MOTTO FOR THE HOT WEATHER. When things are at the worst they'll turn. "
    Joke 950 - " - GENT (who has arrived at Colchester station by mail train, pacing up and down the platform, on a l ... "
    Joke 951 - " A MAN OF STRAW. A Luton hat manufacturer. "
    Joke 952 - "[Untitled] Mr. HAREUP : I couldn't afford to furnish a house for your daughter, sir, just at present, but we mi ... "
    Joke 953 - "ALL THE DIFFERENCE - English Snob: "I think America a wretched country. Imagine being governed by people you can't ask ... "
    Joke 954 - "[Untitled] HE had, as a boy, received a dozen strokes with a birch for throwing stones at a train, and now, in ... "
    Joke 955 - "[Untitled] IS that little shooting iron of yours a horse pistol ? No ; it is a Colt. "
    Joke 956 - "[Untitled] SHE : I wonder what satisfaction the dog can find in barking at the moon. - He : They say that the m ... "
    Joke 957 - "[Untitled] Why is a fellow hard up and in debt like a traveller in the backwoods ? - Because he's a long time c ... "
    Joke 958 - " " I'D JUST LIKE TO " Aunt Priscilla : Kitty, I'm ashamed of you. I don't know however you can let that odious young Feath ... "
    Joke 959 - " A CUCKOO CRIES. Cuck-o-o ! Cuck-o-o ! - The Child ( thinking of the cuckoo clock at home ) : Mamma, did you hear tha ... "
    Joke 960 - "[Untitled] A STRONG man called at a friend's house the other day, carried out a weighty enterprise, and took a ... "
    Joke 961 - "[Untitled] CHILD : Can you take your teeth out ? 0 Lady Visitor : No, dear. - Child : Mamma can. "
    Joke 962 - "[Untitled] WE know a fellow so thoroughly self-sufficient that his very chairs have a cane-seuted way with them ... "
    Joke 963 - "[Untitled] THE man who was open to conviction has been very properly shut up by the prison authorities. "

Transcription record created on 2015-06-16 17:18:34.218210 by user 'ben'