Transcription [529]

Part of Work 14 Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (02/08/1891) }

Jokes found in this transcription:

    Joke 1032 - "[Untitled] BOULANGER'S famous black horse now draws a parcels van. The historical charger which was to head the ... "
    Joke 1033 - " A LAME EXCUSE. Ma-in-law ( who has been sitting up for him ) : Aren't you ashamed to come home at this hour in the ... "
    Joke 1034 - " GOOD ADVICE. Mrs. W, : What are you doing, dear ? - Mr. W, : Musing on the inflnite. - Mrs. W. : You must stop it ... "
    Joke 1035 - "[Untitled] WHY is Druriolanus like Aristotle ? - At first sight it looks as if he were totle-ly different ; but ... "
    Joke 1036 - "UNANSWERABLE - Priest: "Well, Pat, I understand you are going to be married again?" - Widower: "Yis, your riv're ... "
    Joke 1037 - " L'ENTENTE CORDIALE. A portion of the French Fleet is soon to be entertained on English shores. The 'first of these vesse ... "
    Joke 1038 - "[Untitled] COUNSEL : Did he call you a lair in so many words ? - Complainant : Well, he called me a weather rep ... "
    Joke 1039 - "[Untitled] MR. STONE : Is Miss Sngar at home ? - Servant : No, sir. - Mr. Stone : Please tell her that I called ... "
    Joke 1040 - " THAT WON'T WASH ! Do you never wash these bathing towels, Mrs. Swillum ? - Mrs Swillum ( the bathing woman ) : Sure, m ... "
    Joke 1041 - " VERY LIKELY. Inquisitive Old Party : My good man, can you tell me who is dead ? - Hibernian ( form Cork ) : No, y ... "
    Joke 1042 - " An invention has been made at Georgetown observatory, Columbia, called the photo-chronograph, and th ... "
    Joke 1043 - " TRUMPED. What a splendid wood ! Wants thinning a bit, though. The owner ought to cut some of it. - Don't you ... "
    Joke 1044 - " CAT-CHING. Have you seen my little cat, Mr. Foxglove ? - Was it a little black cat with a bell on its neck and ... "
    Joke 1045 - "[Untitled] GENTLEMAN (indignantly) : You said in your letter that a splendid view of the sea was obtainable for ... "
    Joke 1046 - "[Untitled] IRISHMAN : Oi've got a pain in me side, docthor. - Doctor : Which side ? - Irishman : In-side me out ... "
    Joke 1047 - " THE PACE THAT KILES - APPEARANCES. Cousin May : Do you like donkey-riding, Ethel ? - Ethel : Oh, pretty well ; but a donkey's pace is s ... "
    Joke 1048 - " A REGULAR THING. Miss Languish : Were you ever disappointed in love, Mr. Hearty ? - Mr. Hearty : Yes, indeed ; every ... "
    Joke 1049 - " DOWN IN THE MOUTH. " Are you an artist ? " - " I am. " - " Shake hands, old man ; so am I . What do you draw ? " - " Te ... "
    Joke 1050 - " WIFELY INCOMPLETENESS. Brewser : Wot licks me is I can't give my ole woman a couple of black eyes. - Smalley : Why ? - Brew ... "
    Joke 1051 - " GRATITUDE IS A LIVELY SENSE. Husband : Don't fret, love. We must get into debt. But Aunt Tabitha cannot last more than six months ... "
    Joke 1052 - " FRENCH AS SHE IS SPOKEN. British Workman ( as usual, and on his Saturday's chaff ) : 'Ere-ah, Waitaw, give me a glass of dry ... "
    Joke 1053 - " SPEECHES TO BE LIVED DOWN - IF POSSIBLE ! Sympathetic Lady Guest : Don't be unhappy about the rain, dear Mrs. Bounderson - it will soon be ove ... "
    Joke 1054 - "[Untitled] GENTLEMAN : I want to see the head of the family. - Irish Domestic : Yis, sorr. Jist shtep into the ... "
    Joke 1055 - " CARAMELS ARE BETTER THAN COMPLIMENTS. Maude : Jack Gushing seems very much devoted to you. How do you like him ? - Ethel : Oh, he gives me ... "
    Joke 1056 - " PASS UNCHALLENGED. Commanding Officer ( in a furious rage ) : Has anything passed here during the last hour, fellow ? - ... "
    Joke 1057 - " A TRADE SECRET. At the wine Merchant's - Customer ( confidentially ) : I say, Pommery, old man, which is the best ba ... "
    Joke 1058 - " NEW RIDDLE ( WITH THE OLD ANSWER ). Where was Isaacs when the Balance-Sheet went out ? "
    Joke 1059 - " IN WALES. He : Are you staying near here ? - She : Yes, at Llanggochciomiillyddwchyr. - He : Pray be careful. ... "
    Joke 1060 - " AND SHE NAMED THE DAY. He ( awkwardly ) : Ah, Miss Mabel, I hope you understand my feelings ! - She : I'm sure I'm quite in ... "
    Joke 1061 - " IN A RAILWAY CARRIAGE. First Journalist ( to Second Journalist, who is placing his next week's leader on the rack ) : Aren' ... "

Transcription record created on 2015-06-16 17:25:23.916020 by user 'ben'