Transcription [540]

Part of Work 25 Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (05/04/1891) }

Jokes found in this transcription:

    Joke 1350 - " AN UNPREMEDITATED DENOUEMENT. Bob Bunkum (actor) : Failure ? I should think it was ? Why, the whole play was ruined ! - Fair Hoste ... "
    Joke 1351 - " HARD CASE. A turtle's shell. "
    Joke 1352 - " LIBERAL OFFER. Doctor : Now, you are to take a table spoonful of this mixture three times a day. - Pat : Och, murth ... "
    Joke 1353 - "[Untitled] MRS. MUDDLEMEANINGS had her pocket picked the other day by a man who "subtracted her contention" by, ... "
    Joke 1354 - " WERRY LOIKELY. Broom : Goin' to Australy, are yer ? Wot are yer goin' ter du there ? - Mate : Do the people, o' cou ... "
    Joke 1355 - "[Untitled] THE Lady of the Manor : Mr. Lumley has been giving me very bad accounts of you lately, Mr. Smalley ? ... "
    Joke 1356 - " MUST BE VERY COMFORTABLE LINE TO TRAVEL UPON The "Ottoman" railway. "
    Joke 1357 - " STILTED PROCEDURE. That of the gentleman who is travelling through France and Russia on stilts. "
    Joke 1358 - "[Untitled] The proper tribunal to settle the case Of a being so flay-grantly wondrous, we feel, Would be - and ... "
    Joke 1359 - " SOMETHING LIKE A PEELER. "There is a man in Chicago who changes his skin in the month of July every year. He peels off the sk ... "
    Joke 1360 - " THE HONEST WATCH DOG. Sister : Isn't my new St. Bernard a beauty ? I think "Wagner" would be a good name for him, don't yo ... "
    Joke 1361 - " IN THE STALLS. Actress (to Dramatic Critic) : Do you know many actresses ? - He : No, it makes one so prejudiced ; ... "
    Joke 1362 - " "THE CUT OF HER." Juggins is looking at something out at sea. Scroggins is fondly eyeing a fair form on the esplanade. ... "
    Joke 1363 - " A FACT STRONGER THAN FICTION. Irish Lady Patient (to doctor, about the recent winter) : Ach ! Doctor dear, shure this weather's ki ... "
    Joke 1364 - " HE MEANT NOTHING. What did your father say when you told him we were engaged ? - Nothing ! -Nothing ? - Nothing ; his ... "
    Joke 1365 - " OH, I SAY ! Barber : You're the baldest man I ever saw, sir. - Bald Man : Yes ; I've been married three times. "
    Joke 1366 - " THROUGH CLEANSING FIRES. Lady Visitor : I hear you've been very ill, Mrs. Miggleton. What has been the matter ? - Mrs. Miggle ... "
    Joke 1367 - " INSULT TO INJURY. Bertha : What ! That horrid little Alec Sandiman had the impudence to make you an offer ! What next ... "
    Joke 1368 - " JOKIN'S LATEST The surplus will be anything but a dry subject this year, as it is owing to a steady or (probably) u ... "
    Joke 1369 - " A LIVING PROOF. " ' The best food for a singer,' says Madame Albani-Gye, ' is the plainest. ' " - 'Echo'. 1st chorus ... "
    Joke 1370 - " NOTE-ABLE REMUNERATION. It is everlastingly dinned into our ears that a certain beautiful and favourite soprano gets one hun ... "
    Joke 1371 - " TRAVELLERS SEE STRANGE THINGS. Rustic : Where ha'ye bin to, Jim ? - Stableman: Oi bun abroad to Bo-long with the guv'nor's orses. A ... "
    Joke 1372 - " MY WIFE AND I. Mr. Bull (to the Lord Chancellor) : Well, my lord, Mrs. Bull and I have got on pretty well together ... "
    Joke 1373 - " ONE POUND NOTES. Probable rate that a fashionable prima donna will charge for a sing in the near future. "
    Joke 1374 - "[Untitled] CHATHAM having, last week, returned a major it of Liberals to the Town Council, received congratulat ... "
    Joke 1375 - " TELEPHONIC COMMUNICATION. Husband (off to Paris) : Don't cry, darling. It's too sad to leave you, I Know ! But you can talk to ... "

Transcription record created on 2015-06-16 17:25:27.255014 by user 'ben'