Victorian Meme Machine - Transcriptions

Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (London, England), Sunday, August 16, 1891

Dublin Core

Title

Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (London, England), Sunday, August 16, 1891

Scripto

Transcription

<J> <t> AT A PIANO RECITAL. </t> Oh, is it not quite too lovely ? How sweet ; and just fancy, he has got no music, he is playing all that from memory. Isn't it too charming, the way he sweeps his hair off his brow ? And the way he sits ! How full of soul ! - Stupid idiot, why can't he get his hair cut ? The fool knows better than to do that. If he had his hair short, like ordinary mortals, not a lady would go to hear him. <a> Moonshine </a> </j>

<J> <t> WAITING TO BE CALLED. </t> Maud ( sarcastically ) : Ma says that if you are ill, Bridget, she will send your breakfast upstairs to you. - Bridget : Och, no, miss, I'm not ill ; and if yez have breakfast ready, I will get up directly. <a> Funny Cuts </a> </j>

<J> <t> ROMANCE AND REALITY. </t> It you don't say " Yes " I'll put an end to myself ! - Nonsense, Adolphus. Tho only logical end you could put to yourself would be a donkey's tail. <a> Ariel </a> </j>

<J> <t>[Untitled]</t> IT would be quite easy enough to pay the National debt by imposing a tax on beauty. There isn't a woman living in the country who would not demand to be taxed. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<J> <t> THE SORT OF SUPPORT THAT THE CRUMBLING LONDON COUNTY COUNCIL REQUIRE. </t> Shawing up. <a> Funny Folks </a> </j>

<J> <t>[Untitled]</t> THE International Sanitary congress is coming to abuse unlucky bacillus, and gloat over the latest discoveries " made in Germany. " <a> Moonshine </a> </j>

<J> <t>[Untitled]</t> THE Favourite Game just now : - Grouse. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<J> <t> A PECULIAR ARTIST. </t> Lady Friend : I go regularly to the Grosvenor, the Academy, the Salon - in fact to all the Exhibitions, Mr. Daubson ; but I never see any of your pictures anywhere ? What do you do with them ? - Daubson : I sell them ! <a> Pick-Me-Up </a> </j>

<J> <t> VERY EXCLUSIVE. </t> Miss Young : Shall we go to the seaside ? - Mrs. Neverflirt : No ; the waves are too wild for me to associate with. <a> Funny Cuts </a> </j>

<J> <t> MATERNAL COMPLAISANCE. </t> A child cried for an hour the other day ; shortly afterwards its mother came in and " gave it " him ! <a> Judy </a> </j>

<J> <t>[Untitled]</t> WHICH is the Closest Season for the Year ? - Why, the present of course. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<J> <t> IN THE PROVINCES. </t> Look, here, waiter, there's a chicken in my egg. - Waiter : Hush-h-h ! sur, doant 'ee say nothin' about it, else they'll charge 'ee with a fowl on yer bill ! <a> Pick-Me-Up </a> </j>

<J> <t> SIMPLE DIMPLES. </t> Miss Buddington : Good gracious, my dear, what has happened ? However have you managed to cut yourself in that terrible fashion ? - Miss Dolley : Oh, it's all right. I'm only trying the new American plan for making dimples, and I'm keeping the plaister on until the very last moment, so that they may last all the longer. <a> Funny Folks </a> </j>

<J> <t> GRAY'S INN CHAPEL. </t> Isn't it time he came out ? <a> Ariel </a> </j>

<J> <t> HAD HIM ON THE SPOT. </t> Dorking : What's the reason you didn't speak to Boreham when he passed us ? - Brown : He insulted me the other day - called me a freckled idiot. - Dorking ; Called you a freckled idiot - how absurd ! Why, you are not freckled ! <a> Fun </a> </j>

<J> <t> THE SUN-SIDE. </t> Why, Jack ! whatever is the matter with your cheek and forehead ? - Ha, ha ! I've been asleep all the morning with one side of my face buried in Jill's lap, The other side's got sunburnt - that's all. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<J> <t> PEOPLE WHO OUGHT TO BE ADDICTED TO RIDING THE HIGH HORSE. </t> Hy-gee-inists ! <a> Funny Folks </a> </j>

<J> <t> A OAOUSE OUTRAGE. </t> Shooting them before the twelfth. <a> Punch </a> </j>

Periodical - Transcription item Item Type Metadata

Periodical Title

Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper

Periodical Frequency

Weekly

Column Title

Jokes of the Day

Gale document number

BC3206277192

Page

7

Year

1891

Date

16/08/1891

Files

Citation

“Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (London, England), Sunday, August 16, 1891,” Victorian Meme Machine - Transcriptions, accessed April 20, 2018, http://victorianhumour.com/o/items/show/51.

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