Victorian Meme Machine - Transcriptions

Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (London, England), Sunday, September 20, 1891

Dublin Core

Title

Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (London, England), Sunday, September 20, 1891

Scripto

Transcription

<j> <t> YOUNG GOSLIN. </t> Mr. Roks, I wish - er - that is, I desire -er - the hand of your daughter. Roks : What's the matter with the rest of her ? <a> Pick-Me-Up </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> EVERY day we are treated to a displayed heading - " Affairs in Chili. " Well, all we can say is - they've been in pickle long enough, so take them out. <a> Moonshine </a> </j>

<j> <t> SHAKESPEARE ( ADAPTED ) AT THE TRADES UNION CONGRESS. </t> " We must vote by the card, or equality will be our undoing. " <a> Punch </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> THE difference between garden hose and the hose girls wear, is - you only see the garden in dry weather and the girl's in wet. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> UNFORTUNATE REMARKS. </t> Miss Pretty Pert : And why do you say I am like the honey-suckle ? Do you think me so lovely ? - Honourable Percy Fitzgivem : No ; but because I imagine your qualities must surpass your charms. <a> Moonshine </a> </j>

<j> <t> IN WHISPERS. </t> Mrs. Verjuice : Do you admire her playing ? - Captain Guttergrew : Yes ; it drowns her singing. <a> Fun </a> </j>

<j> <t> " REAL MEAN. " </t> The English Churchman who, on returning from abroad, puts all his surplusage of Swiss silver - ten and twenty centime-pieces into the offertory bag or plate. <a> Punch </a> </j>

<j> <t> HEARD ON CLACTON RAILWAY STATION. </t> Station-master ( to two country folk who had been to Thorpe and back ) : What did you mean by getting into that train, in motion, and without tickets too. Don't you know you have broken two of the company's bye-laws ? - Country Folk : Noa, noa, zur, I'se sure we didn't. Cos why ? we never touched they. [ Station-master gives it up. ] <a> Moonshine </a> </j>

<j> <t> HE KNEW A BIT. </t> Mrs. Spite ( in the background ) : Her husband, I hear, is away at Carlsbad, taking the waters. - He : Don't you make any mistake. I saw him down at Brighton yesterday, taking the Whiskies ! <a> Pick-Me-Up </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> " THAT beats me, " as the carpet said of the broomstick. <a> Fun </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> " FINE salmon you've got there, Poulter ! "- " Sixty-five pounds, my lord ! Shall I send it home to your lordship ? " - " Well - er - look here ! Just cut me half a pound out of the middle there, and give it me in a piece of paper ! " <a> Punch </a> </j>

<j> <t> SCHOOL NECESSARIES. </t> ACADEMIC Chairs. Multiplication Tables. Algebraic Forms. Greek Fire. Roman Candles. Map of China ( among others ). Historical Trees - with Greek Roots. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> DOUBTFUL. </t> She : Jack, how am I to know that you are telling the truth when you say you love me ? - He : Why, all the rest of the girls believe me. <a> Fun </a> </j>

Periodical - Transcription item Item Type Metadata

Periodical Title

Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper

Periodical Frequency

Weekly

Column Title

Jokes of the Day

Gale document number

BC3206277620

Page

7

Year

1891

Date

20/09/1891

Files

Citation

“Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (London, England), Sunday, September 20, 1891,” Victorian Meme Machine - Transcriptions, accessed April 23, 2018, http://victorianhumour.com/o/items/show/56.

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