Victorian Meme Machine - Transcriptions

Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (London, England), Sunday, September 27, 1891

Dublin Core


Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (London, England), Sunday, September 27, 1891



<j> <t> THE STERNER SEX. </t> Hullo, Gerty ! You've got Fred's hat on, and his cover coat ? - Yes ; don't you like it ? - Well ; it makes you look like a young man, you know, and that's so effeminate. <a> Punch </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> SERVANT ( coaxingly ) : Now, tell me truly, milkman, don't you put just a little water in your milk ? - Milkman : Don't you try to " pump " me, my gal ! <a> Pick-Me-Up </a> </j>

<j> <t> INFORMATION WANTED. </t> HOW to paint a puppy's portrait in " distemper. " Whether a burglar's caligraphy ought not to be copper-plate ? Are bankers illiterate ? We so often see bankers' pass books. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> A MAIDEN SPEECH. </t> " Because it it. " <a> Ariel </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> SIR EDWIN ARNOLD declares that Fleet-street is the most poetical place in the world. H might add that its frequenters fully respond to the influences of the locality. Every other man who steps you in Fleet-street is a poet. There is not one of them but is ready to favour you with an owed. <a> Moonshine </a> </j>

<j> <t> THERE'S NO LOVE LIKE THE OLD LOVE. </t> Policeman ( to woman loudly bemoaning a lost shilling ) : Now then ! Move on ! I know yer tricks. That gentleman's just given yer a shillin' to make it right. - Old Woman ; Yes ; but that ain't the one I lorst. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> THE most remarkable powers of fashionable ladies. - The stay-ing powers. <a> Moonshine </a> </j>

<j> <t> AT BOGNOR. </t> Landlady : I think I'd better make that there feller from Lunnon pay his board in advance. - Hey Crony : Ain't he got no money ? - Landlady : He can't have much. He's been goin' around all day in a coat made out of an old flag. <a> Pick-Me-Up </a> </j>

<j> <t> THE NEW M.P RIAL DEFENCE. </t> Run away. <a> Ariel </a> </j>

<j> <t> AUTUMN LEAVES. </t> Departures from town just now. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> HOW to find a snowdrop - Tumble down a crevasse. <a> Fun </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> IT is said that the Sultan of Turkey keeps a fast steamer at hand ready to make a bolt of it at a moment's notice. What with foreign diplomacy and domestic intrigue, his highness's existence is one of blue funk. Every post from abroad intensities his terrors, and every step in the ante-chamber adds to his scares. <a> Moonshine </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> A NEW mail-carte for the youngster : A photo of his father. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> WHAT DID SHE MEAN, PRECISELY ? </t> He : Pretty dress, that young lady's wearing - cut rather low in the back, though. - She : Humph ! Too much show altogether, I think. <a> Fun </a> </j>

<j> <t> HOLIDAY FARE IN CORNWALL. </t> A roll on the billow, A loaf by the shore, A fig for fashion, And cream galore. <a> Punch </a> </j>

<j> <t> GOOD FELLOWSHIP. </t> Fellowship of the Royal society. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> " BUT look here ! If they ship off all the Jews to America, or Egypt, or wherever it is, who's to buy u all the old clothes. I should like to know ? You'll never get a Christian to do it. " <a> Moonshine </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> A HORSE LEECH : A vet. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> ANY (S)PORT IN A STORM. </t> Lady Lil : What a dreadful bore ! It's raining quite fast, and we can't go just yet. Whatever shall we do ? We've seen all the celebrities and taken stock of all the bonnets and new gowns. - Lady Vi ( suddenly inspired ) : I have it ! - Let's look at some of the pictures -till the rain stops. <a> Fun </a> </j>

<j> <t> PARADOX. </t> " Brown, " said Jones to Mrs. Smith, Brown's landlady, " Brown, " said Jones, " seems a monstrous popular fellow. I never find him in when I call. Where does he go when he's out ? " " ' At hemes ' " said Mrs. Smith. " ' At homes ? ' " quoth Mr Jones. " Yes - he's a reciter ! " <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> FREE ( AND EASY ) EDUCATION. </t> Master ( to Board School urchin who has introduced phonetic spelling in his dictation exercise ) : Every word wrong ! You'll stop and do this after school, Tommy. - Tommy : No, jolly fear ! I'll spell 'ow I likes ; eddication's free now. <a> Ariel </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> WHAT difference is there between to-day and to-morrow ?- To night. <a> Fun </a> </j>

<j> <t> A MAN WHO SHOULD KNOW THE ROPES. </t> The public hangman. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> DISTURBANCE IN CHINA. </t> A Tempest in a Teacup. <a> Ariel </a> </j>

<j> <t> FACT AND FICTION. </t> Elder Sister : It was just here the great battle was fought, Pussy. - Pussy : Who fought it ? - E. S. : The Normans and the Danes. - Pussy : Oh, only those hist'ry people ! I'm very glad. I thought you meant real people ! <a> Fun </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> TOYSHOPMAN : Beg pardon, Miss, but here's your change, which you'd forgotten ; one-and-ninepence ! - Little Maid : h, thank you very much ! But we're not allowed to take money from anybody by Grandpapa ! <a> Punch </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> WE know a man who sent to Peru for a dog, so that he could always have a supply of the local bark. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> " THE GREAT LOAN LAND " </t> Russia. <a> Punch </a> </j>

<j> <t> " GETTING AT " THE MEENISTER. </t> TWO little Urchins : Say, Meenister, the deil's deid. D'yer ken ? - The Meenister : Hey, noo, ye dinna say sa ! Then I'm afaert there's twa fatherless bairns the maid of ye. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> THE Barmaids' Guild. Do they ? We know some of them painted, but we did not know they had gone in for decoration to this extent. <a> Moonshine. </a> </j>

Periodical - Transcription item Item Type Metadata

Periodical Title

Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper

Periodical Frequency


Column Title

Jokes of the Day

Gale document number










“Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (London, England), Sunday, September 27, 1891,” Victorian Meme Machine - Transcriptions, accessed July 22, 2018,

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