Victorian Meme Machine - Transcriptions

Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (London, England), Sunday, October 25, 1891

Dublin Core


Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (London, England), Sunday, October 25, 1891



<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> HOSTESS : I am so glad to see you have brought your music. Will you give us a song at once ? - Modest Man : Delighted, I'm sure, but I'm sorry to say I have got a very bad cold, so I'm rather hoarse. - Hostess : Oh, never mind, I daresay nobody will notice it. <a> Moonshine </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> BOSOM FRIEND : How I do hate girls getting engaged ! You haven't uttered a sentence that hasn't begun with a he for the last half hour. <a> Moonshine </a> </j>

<j> <t> FRENCH AND ENGLISH ( as zee are spoke at ze country 'ouse ).</t> Hostess : Oh - er - j'espair ker voos avvy troovy votre - votre - er - er - votre collar stud, Barrong ? - M. le Baron : Oh, I zank you, yes ! I find 'eem on my chest of trowsers ! <a> Punch </a> </j>

<j> <t> MODEST AMBITION. </t> The Squire ( to his eldest son, just home form the 'Varsity ) : Well, my boy, and what have you settled to be ? - The Squire's Son : Just a plain country gentleman like you, father ! <a> Punch </a> </j>

<j> <t> THE UPS AND DOWNS OF THE WORLD. </t> Kate : Well, dear, how have you been since I saw you last ? - Maude : OH, I've been dreadfully knocked up. - Kate : I thought so ; you look so pulled down. <a> Fun </a> </j>

<j> <t> A GAEL OF WIND. </t> A Highland piper. <a> Fun </a> </j>

<j> <t> A ROW. </t> First Irate Lady : I suppose as my 'husband is the same as yourn ! - Second Ditto ( with withering sarcasm ) : The same, mum ? No, mum ; let's 'ope not, mum. I wasn't aware as we had only one 'usband between us ! <a> Fun </a> </j>

<j> <t> APPROPRIATE HEAD-GEAR FOR PRINTERS' BOYS. </t> Small caps. <a> Ariel. </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> UNREASONABLE ! - Wife : Going to Mrs. Damslow's party ? Why, of course I'm not. I haven't a dress to my back ! - Husband : And only yesterday, you were complaining you were not in the fashion. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> PERU is now about to supply the greater part of the world with petroleum. The revenue from this illuminant will be a fitting complement to the country's night-rates. <a> Moonshine </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> A MAN will not submit to be called a puppy, a hound, or a cur, but if he is pronounced a " sad dog, " he accepts the stigma as though it were a compliment. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> IF a man fell into a pond and you pulled him out, what champagne would you recommend for him ? - Dry Him On a Pole. - [ Eh ? Oh ! Dry Monopole. I see ! <a> Ariel </a> </j>

<j> <t> WIDE AWAKE ! </t> Nurse ( singing by cradle ) : Hark ! hark ! the dogs do ----.-- Baby ( fin-de-siecle ) : Bark, do they ? And, as it it wasn't bad enough, you immediately begin to imitate them. How the Dickens d'you think I'm going to get to sleep ? <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> RECUPERATING. </t> Stuffer : I wonder what the matter is with the De Courtneys ? They have stopped asking me to dinner. - Dash-away : They must have got hungry themselves. <a> Funny Cuts </a> </j>

<j> <t> IN THE DRAWING ROOM. </t> Cassandra : Why, I haven't seen you at a dance for ever so long. - Ajax : No ; the fact is, I'm only doing dinners this season, don't you know ! <a> Fun </a> </j>

<j> <t> COUPLET BY A CYNIC. </t> " Poetry does not sell ! " cry plaintive pleaders. Alas ! most modern poetry does - its readers ! <a> Punch </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> THE influenza is in New York. Of course, it will come here again ; and a nice blow that will be. <a> Moonshine </a> </j>

<j> <t> A CATCHPENNY AFFAIR. </t> An automatic machine. <a> Funny Folks. </a> </j>

<j> <t> AN " OPEN " QUESTION. </t> Removing the Bloomsbury gates. <a> Funny Folks </a> </j>

<j> <t> NEGOTIATIONS OPENED. </t> Lord Hauntwing : Will you do me the favour to sup with me ? - Miss Secondrow : Er - well - what is the bill of fare ? <a> Fun </a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> A GOOD action is never thrown away. That is why we find so few of them. <a> Pick-Me-Up </a> </j>

<j> <t></t> <a></a> </j>

<j> <t>[Untitled]</t> HE : Do you wish to make a fool of me ? - She : No. Nature has kindly provided for you ! <a> Pick-Me-Up </a> </j>

<j> <t> A SAD STORY. </t> She : I haven't seen you for five years, Mr. Barker. How's that little romance of yours with Miss Robinson ? - Bark : Miss Robinson is no more. - She : What - dead ? - Barker : No -married. - She : Ha, ha ! You are still friends, though ? - Barker : No. She married me. <a> Funny Folks. </a> </j>

Periodical - Transcription item Item Type Metadata

Periodical Title

Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper

Periodical Frequency


Column Title

Jokes of the Day

Gale document number










“Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (London, England), Sunday, October 25, 1891,” Victorian Meme Machine - Transcriptions, accessed July 22, 2018,

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