Victorian Meme Machine - Transcriptions

Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (London, England), Sunday, December 6, 1891

Dublin Core


Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (London, England), Sunday, December 6, 1891



<j> <t> MOTTO FOR MILLINERS </t> A bird in the hat is worth two in the bush <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> THE OLD DISPUTE SETTLED </t> - Bridegroom (after the ceremony) : Maud, you and i are one now. it only remains to be decided which is the one, I tried to win you, didn't I? - Bride : Yes, Harold. - And I won. That seems to settle it. - Not quite, Harold. You tried to win me. You succeeded. Then you are the winner, are you not? - Yes, dear. And i'm the won. <a> Funny Cuts </a> </j>

<j> <t> A GOOD HIT </t> - She: Cupid is not in it as a marksman, goosey. - He: Why, not, angel? - She: He's always making "Mrs." <a> Funny Folks </a> </j>

<j> <t> SENILE FELINE AMENITIES </t> - Well, good afternoon - I'm going to call on my mother! - What! you don't mean to say you've got a mother living? - Oh, yes - and she don't look a bit older than you do - i assure you. <a> Punch </a> </j>

<j> <t> SHORTLY TO APPEAR </t> - A Morning Without Boots, by the author of A Knight Without Spurs. <a> Punch </a> </j>

<j> <t> AND NOTHING MORE </t> - Tinkle: Is that woman a friend of yours? - Wrinkle: No, merely a speaking acquaintance - Tinkle: Who is she? - Wrinkle: My wife <a> Funny Cuts </a> </j>

<j> <t> THE SCORE </t> - Will you write me some lyrics to my music? - Oh, my dear girl! I haven't the time. Besides - ha, ha! - you're not Sir Arthur Sullivan, you know. If you were I might. - If I were Sir Arthur Sullivan I wouldn't come to you for lyrics <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> A MAN OF FEELING/t> The Phrenologist <a> Ariel </a> </j>

<j> <t> THE LAST ROSE OF SUMMER </t> Cabbage rows <a> Ariel </a> </j>

<j> <t> ACCI-DENTAL </t> Pulling the wrong tooth <a> Ariel </a> </j>

<j> <t> MR. GLADSTONE </t> has been written to on the subject of Church singing. Of course he knows what everyone re-choirs. <a> Moonshine </a> </j>

<j> <t> SYRUPE OF QUILL </t> The sweet things written about pretty actresses. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> SOME PARTS OF SCOTLAND </t> are afflicted with a mice plague. It is a pity that some back-tieria of our suburban cat plague cannot be cultivated in the neighbourhood. The mice might, perhaps, retire under puss-snasion <a> Moonshine </a> </j>

<j> <t> WISDOM </t> "My son, never love a girl for money, it's wrong; but never love a girl with-out money. That's Stupid." <a> Slopor </a> </j>

<j> <t> OUR DOMESTICS </t> - I wish to leave this day month. - Very good. And why? - Well, I heard you say to master, "Is the servant in?" <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> A MISFIT</t> - No, schnapps, this coat won't do. I look a perfect in it. - Donnerwetter! What would you habe? It is not my fault. Ze coat is beautifool. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> CHAPPIE </t> (after missing his fourth stag, explains): Aw - fact is, the-aw-waving grass was in my way. - Old Stalker: Hoot, mon, wad ye hae me bring out a scythe> <a> Punch </a> </j>

<j> <t> IT'S A WEARY WORLD </t> - (Scene: A Seaside Meeting). - Joyous One: Hullo, old chap! How long have you been down here? - Melancholist: oh! ever since yesterday <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> BEWARE OF THE DOG </t> - Wife (emphatically): That dog of Smith's, across the way, bit mether again this morning, and I want to know what you propose doing about it? - Husband (brutally): I think I shall buy the dog. <a> Fun </a> </j>

<j> <t> OVER THE CLUB FIRE </t> - Porkins: Talking about dogs, there used to be such a clever dog at our place. - Growler (in an audible aside): I do hate to hear a fellow boasting about his ancestors! <a> Ariel </a> </j>

<j> <t> PIRATE BUSES </t> Stolen kisses <a> Ariel </a> </j>

<j> <t> A FRESH ARRIVAL </t> A new-laid egg. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> NO "RAIL"-ERY INTENDED </t> - (Scene: Brighton Express): Oh, guard! tell me - who is that distinguished-looking person? - That. mum? That's the driver <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> RATHER NERVOUS </t> - Hostess: Why don't you sing, Mr. Shyman? - Well-er-the fact is, I only Know two songs. "Pop goes the Queen" and "God save the Weasel." <a> Sloper </a> </j>

<j> <t> TIRED </t> - Mrs. Sidon: I've been shopping all day. I am just ready to die, I am so tired. - Mr. Sidon: So am I. - Mrs. Sidon: Goodness! What should make you tired? - Mr. Sidon: The bills that came to the office. <a> Funny Folks </a> </j>


<t> "SIGNS" OF THE TIMES </t> - The autograph craze. <a> Funny Folks </a> </j>

<j> <t> A HINT </t> - He: How is it that your cousin always insists on playing whenever I am talking to you? - She: Perhaps she wants to touch your feelings. <a> Pick-Me-Up </a> </j>

<j> <t> THE INFLUENZA </t> is rampant in Mr. John Morley's constituency. There was never less need to carry cold to Newcastle than just at present <a> Moonshine </a> </j>

Periodical - Transcription item Item Type Metadata

Periodical Title

Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper

Periodical Frequency


Column Title

Jokes of the Day

Gale document number










“Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (London, England), Sunday, December 6, 1891,” Victorian Meme Machine - Transcriptions, accessed June 25, 2018,

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