Victorian Meme Machine - Transcriptions

Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (London, England), Sunday, December 20, 1891

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Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (London, England), Sunday, December 20, 1891



<j> <t> "SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE" </t> - Ethel: Mummy dear, why did you tell Richard "you weren't at home" just now? (Pause.) - Mummy, I mean -. - Mamma: When Sir Fusby Dodderidge called? Why Ethel dear, because he bores me. - Ethel: oh! (After thoughtfully considering the matter with regard to her governess.) Then may i say i'm not at home when Miss Krux calls to-morrow? for she bores me awfully? <a> Punch </a> </j>

<j> <t>TESTAMENTARY GRATITUDE </t> On the will of a celebrated poet being opened and read, it was discovered that the weaver of odes and epics had. with pretty gracefulness, left everything to the imagination <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> NEW HATS FOR OLD </t> Have you seen my hat, waiter? A new one with -.- Too late, sir: the best ones 'ave been gone this 'arf hour. <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> A STEPFATHER</t> - She: No; I can never be your wife. I will be your -. - He (interrupting): Sister! Never! -She: I was going to say daughter. My mother would only be too delighted to marry you. <a> Sloper </a> </j>

<j> <t> A THUMPING REPLY </t> - He: I think it's outrageous to pamper up a dog like that. it makes me sick to look at it. Haven't you anything better to do? - His Relative (savagely): Well, I haven't a husband, and i must have a brute of some sort to look after. <a> Pick-Me-Up </a> </j>

<j> <t> THE WISE VIRGIN </t> - Perdita (heroically): I cannot - I will not marry you, Alfred, against your mother's wish. - Alfred: I wish you were not so sensitive! - Perdita: It is not because I am sensitive - it is because your father's estate is left at her disposal. <a> Funny Folks </a> </j>

<j> <t> RATHER AWKWARD </t> - Elsie: Why have you given up your Sunday school? - Winnie: I found that all the children were growing up, and they began to ask awkward questions. - Elsie: What sort of questions, dear? - Winnie: Well, one of them asked me to marry him. <a> Funny Folks </a> </j>

<j> <t> MOTTO FOR THE DIVORCE COURT </t> - Marry, and come up! <a> Punch </a> </j>

<j> <t> THE MODERN BALL PROGRAMME </t> - Cousin Alice: of course you are going to dance with me, George! - George (a noted athlete, who has been persuaded by his pretty cousin to take a few lessons in dancing and come to the Hunt Ball) : I'm awfully sorry, Ally, but there are nothing but waltzes on the card, and i only trained for squares <a> Fun </a> </j>

<j> <t> CLEAR AS CRYSTAL </t> - Tommy: I say, this is just jolly - the surface doesn't cut up at all. - Nurse (unexpectedly looking up) : You'll get your surface cut up, Master Tommy, when your ma sees what you've been and done to that looking-glass! <a> Ariel </a> </j>

<j> <t> DOUBTFUL </t> - You can't trust my husband any longer! Why, he's safe as the bank! - Indeed, madam! Which bank? <a> Judy </a> </j>

<j> <t> WOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE </t> - Very Fat Man : Now, then, conductor, don't let that 'bus go till i get on! - Conductor (to himself) : It certainly wont when you do <a> Funny Cuts </a> </j>

<j> <t> CHRISTMAS THEATRICALS </t> (Theatre Royal, back drawing room). - She (during the interval) : Have you heard the waits? - He : No, but we're seeing them. <a> Pick-Me-Up </a> </j>

<j> <t> DAYLIGHT ROBBERY </t> - The incursion of a London fog. <a> Fun </a> </j>

<j> <t> A CRACKED BILLIARD PLAYER </t> The Leopard who never changes his spots. <a> Ariel </a> </j>

<j> <t> CHOLLY </t> Aw-think you'll go to the World's fair at Chicago next yeah? - Fwed : Aw-yaas. -Cholly : Aw-how'll you go, deah boy? - Fwed : Think i'll go by water, doncherknow. <a> Funny Folks </a> </j>

<j> <t> WILL POWER </t> The Influence of the G.O.M <a> Funny Folks </a> </j>

Periodical - Transcription item Item Type Metadata

Periodical Title

Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper

Periodical Frequency


Column Title

Jokes of the Day

Gale document number










“Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper (London, England), Sunday, December 20, 1891,” Victorian Meme Machine - Transcriptions, accessed July 22, 2018,

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